In Toto Thursday

Sophia Loren and Marlon Brando are the answer to this week's Topless Tuesday. They starred in "A Countess from Hong Kong," a romantic comedy directed and written by Charlie Chaplin. Shockingly, the flick is unbelievably dull. In his autobiography, Brando described Chaplin as "probably the most sadistic man I've ever met." If interested, here's M.B.'s take on C.C.

[The film] was a disaster. Chaplin was an egotistical tyrant and penny-pincher. He harassed people when they were late, and scolded them unmercifully to work faster. Worst of all he treated his son Sydney, who played my sidekick, cruelly. In front of everybody, he humiliated him constantly: "Sydney, you're so stupid! Don't you have enough brains to know how to place your hand on a doorknob? You know what a doorknob is, don't you? All you do is turn the knob, open the door and enter. Isn't that easy, Sydney?" It was painful to watch.