Chicks with Matchsticks

The Saatchi Gallery's featured photograph for its current survey of post 9/11 American artists reminded me of another similar striking image. In Josephine Meckseper's 2003 "Pyromaniac 2," a model holds a lighted match in her mouth as though it were a cigarette and delivers us a "dare me" look. Meckseper's work combines anti-capitalism with humor, and the gallery describes this photo as "an emblem of commodified desire transformed to an impending powder keg explosion." That description could partially describe Fiona Apple in her 1999 video "Fast As You Can." Apple also plays with fire, but she goes one step further and extinguishes the flame inside her mouth. While Meckseper makes art about the forces outside, Apple's focus is doggedly about the fires inside. (Image via Saatchi Gallery and Amazon.com)

Art=Commerce

Did you know that going to art galleries is very hip, very sexy, and so very Banana Republic (according to the clothing retailer's latest ad campaign)? The ads published in Vogue and the New York Times spotlight models hanging out in front of abstract paintings with gallery invitations either tucked in oversized bags or used as shields for whispers or kisses. Apparently, these ads is B.R.'s way to highlight artists' works, but I challenge you to find who painted the canvases. Neither of these ads credit an artist.

Who's Zoomin' Who?

Last April, Tyler Green requested bloggers to post on works of art that "rhyme," meaning, two pieces that share visual cues. Only recently has one image triggered another for me. The latest Chanel lipstick ad seems to be a blatant ripoff of Marilyn Minter's 2004 "Jawbreaker." (Madison Avenue admen aren't exactly artists--but on second thought, perhaps they are....) In the Chanel ad, a woman's perfectly lipsticked mouth nibbles on a single pearl necklace, while in Minter's image, a woman's perfectly lipsticked mouth clamps down on a strand of pearls. Only the beads of sweat on the Minter's woman's lips indicate that something a little subversive is going on. Otherwise, is there really any difference? (Image via Sfstation.com and Chanel)

Photoshopaholics

Lacome went just a touch overboard when it touched up Clive Owen for its men's fragrance ad. Yes, both these photos are of actor Clive Owen. Known for his rugged, weathered looks, Clive looks unrecognizable in the Lacome print ad. He looks like he's had too many chemical peels and sun-tanning sessions. Keep in mind that the movie still on the right is also retouched. Lacome's photoshopaholics must have worked around the clock to create the plastic C.O. What's the point of Clive being the "new face of Lacome" if you can't even identify his face? (Image via lacome and Film.com)

Don't Mind the Gap

Here comes another what-are-they-thinking ad campaign from Gap. It has been widely reported that Gap sales over the past few years, starting with the Sarah Jessica Parker ads, have been staggeringly disappointing. Now comes this new campaign: "the boyfriend trouser." No, no, no! The concept is that the clothes look like they belong to your boyfriend. This is a poor man's Annie Hall. Very poor. More like bankrupt. Believe me, no woman in the world wants to look sloppy, and no woman wants her ass to look saggy.

Little Edie and Blanche in Dakota

(Perhaps I'll become the go-to site when it comes to Juergen Teller's photos for Marc Jacobs ads because here I go again....) While the Catholic League is going apoplectic about the Dakota Fanning film "Hounddog" (she's 12 and she gets raped), the sometimes creepy actress channels Little Edie from "Grey Gardens" and Blanche Dubois from "A Streetcar Named Desire" in this month's ads. I can dig it. (Images via W and Vogue)

Fave Ad

Here's my favorite print ad of the year. In the past, I've pooh-poohed Marc Jacobs ads featuring Juergen Teller's photographs, but these snaps of William Eggleston and Charlotte Rampling have made me a fan. Lying in bed, dressed in suits and looking tipsy, who could resist these two? No, I'm not about to buy anything by Marc Jacobs, but these images have turned me onto photographer Eggleston's work and reinforced the fact that C. Rampling is the coolest. (Images via W and Vogue)

Lift and Sniff and Pass Out

Not only does a fashion magazine smell like the perfume bullpen at Macy's, but it will soon emit barroom odors as well--if the latest issue of Vogue is any indication. Fancying itself as an eau de toilette, Pama Pomegranate Liqueur has a lift-and-sniff ad in the mag. The "alluring aroma" smells like a hypersweet cherry cough medicine and gave me an instant headache. Will harder booze be next in this advertising blunder? I hope not; it will be just another page I have to tear out.

Not Even Your Nostrils or Tastebuds Are Safe

In Vera Wang's ongoing campaign to invade every part of our lives, including our olfactory faculties, the designer and Macy's have dreamed up an absurd promotion. Pastry Chef Johnny Iuzzini will create desserts inspired by Vera Wang's perfume, "Princess." Iuzzini will give in-store demonstrations and talk about the relationship between scent and fine food. Some of the sweets inspired by perfume include Warm Apple-Orange Confit with Spiced Apple Cake. Pretty imaginative, considering the scent's actual ingredients include isocetyl stearate, propylene glycol, stearic acid, caprylic/capric triglyceride, and water. (Images via Macy's)

The Return of No Lips

Although "lip pumpers" are the latest beauty obsession, you'd never know it by flipping through recent fashion magazines. Hearkening back to the 1970s' thin-lip years, a number of ads feature no-upper-lippers Nicole Kidman, Tea Leoni, Maggie Rizer, and others. Perhaps puffy-lipped Angelina Jolie is now too closely associated with saving the Third World to be considered fashionable. I do note that all the ads with lip-challenged models are for jewelry and perfume rather than makeup or clothes. Perhaps bee-stung lips would distract away from highlighting earrings or a necklace.

Tsk Tsk

This is how I read this Ad Council warning on drunk driving: Don't drive drunk or you might break someone's Gucci sunglasses. Buried in the back pages of New York Magazine, this ad is about as powerful as a tsk-tsk wagging finger. But perhaps NY Mag readers--typically uptown Manhattanites--are more affected by this image of a destroyed status symbol than by a photo of a mangled car or the victim alive.

Headless Body Found in Meaningless Ad

Does Anna Wintour have a foot fetish? In this month's Vogue, an ad for designer Marc Jacobs shows only actress Jennifer Jason Lee's feet, while in W magazine, the MJ ad features JJL in toto. Photographer Juergen Teller, who took the snaps, always has something mischievous up his sleeve, so perhaps he's behind the decapitation.

Dakota Foster

The new Gap ad featuring actress Dakota Fanning brings me back to 1980, specifically, May 19, 1980. That's the date when Jodie Foster graced the cover of People Magazine. Dakota looks like a dead ringer for a young Jodie. There's something a little creepy about Dakota Fanning, but now that I see that she looks like J.F., I have a feeling she'll be around for a while.


Jodie Fans: In my search for photos, I came across this site with recordings of Jodie singing two songs for her 1977 film "Moi, fleur bleue." Here's the French version, and here's the English rendition.

Losing (Half a) Face

Apparently, if a movie's title includes the words "king" or "queen," only half of the star's face can appear in the print ad. These ads for "The Queen," starring Helen Mirren, and "The Last King of Scotland," with Forest Whitaker, popped up stacked on top of each other in the New York Observer. I'm sure the sales staff were just thrilled with that. Too bad that both ad designers opted to show only the stars' right side (perhaps it's more sinister-looking). If Forest Whitaker's left side were shown instead, then the King and Queen could have merged into one royal ad.

Ferry Boys

Last month, I wrote about Roxy Music lead singer Bryan Ferry appearing in a Burberry ad with the world's most sexless-looking woman. I mused that I would like the image if that model had been Ferry's son in drag. It turns out that I saw only half of the ad. The full ad, coincidentally, does feature Ferry's sons, Isaac and Otis--not in drag, though. (I still think that the ad's image goes wildly against Ferry's persona of glam playboy.) Here's an another Burberry ad featuring the Ferry Boys.

Never Mind the Cake, Here's Marie

This ad for Sofia Coppola's latest film, "Marie Antoinette," appeared in Vogue. It reminds me of the Sex Pistols' album cover for "Never Mind the Bollocks..." Seems like an interesting strategy. The reviews of the flick from the Cannes Film Festival were horrible. Nevertheless, I'm still looking forward to seeing the movie.

High Fashion Stays Highbrow

Even Saks and Italian designer Valentino don't like the new cartoon cover for "Lady Chatterley's Lover." In a Saks ad that features Isabelle Huppert wearing a Valentino blouse, the French actress clutches the D.H. Lawrence book. Saks opted for a vintage edition of "L.C.L." rather than the new cartoon cover by Chester Brown. No wonder. As I wrote earlier, Brown's cover is a comic strip of a man and a woman in bed postcoitally discussing the human condition. The ad would definitely have taken on a different meaning if Huppert were holding a Brown-cover edition. Her dreamy look would've been read as saying, "Is nothing sacred?"

Pencil Is the New Silhouette

Two separate print ads, two different companies, and two different pieces of clothing. So why do they look so similar? On the left: Gap (every four seconds, another Gap ad is shoved down our throats) promotes Black Skinny Pants. On the right: TSE highlights its cashmere tunic. Did these two corporations hire the same advertising company? Or is the pencil simply the new silhouette?

Dead Ringer

Here's what surprises me most about T-Mobile's dropping Catherine Zeta-Jones from its ubiquitous ad campaign: that the woman in those ads was actually Catherine Zeta-Jones. I had always thought that the company had hired a look-alike after using C.Z.J. in the ads' initial blitz in 2003. I considered that strategy to be brilliant: customers subconsciously think this no-name model is this top actress. I thought the "model," however, never looked as attractive as C.Z.J. And I couldn't imagine an actress identifying herself so closely with a corporation for so long. Now that C.Z.J. is out, I guess she'll have to start actually acting.

Poses Playbook

Gwyneth Paltrow has torn a page from Paris Hilton's Poses Playbook: offer only three-quarters of your face when photographed for magazine ads. For Gwyneth, her left side is her good side, just like Barbra Streisand. Streisand believes that her left side looks more feminine than her right and that her nose looks shorter from the left. She is such a stickler on this perception that she even had Rosie O'Donnell rearrange the set when she appeared on Rosie's talk show in 1997. (Somehow this post became about Barbra S., but B.S. is a lot more interesting than G.P. anyways.)